Nothing
by Cheshiresmile6
Summary: The winter war is over and everything is back to normal. But Ichigo feels like there is nothing left for him, not after losing the one he loves most.ONESHOT Grimmichi Warning- Yaoi, strong language and possible OOC not by much rated M just in case


**Author's note:** Hey everyone, this is my first fanfiction so please go easy on me :) i hope you enjoy!

This is a GrimmIchi one shot fanfiction, yaoi so if you dont like dont read.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach or its characters

**Warning: **Yaoi, coarse Language, MAYBE OOC but I'm not sure so please let me know if so.

The wind is warm in the night air. Nights are usually warm during summer but tonight seems ...different. I don't know how but it just does. The water a few meters below where I stand on the bridge is flowing at a fast rate down-stream. This is a bit odd because we haven't had any rainfall in a few weeks but that really doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. Here I am; standing over the edge of an old bridge in the middle of the night, holding on to the railing behind my back, looking into the distance through the hair that covers my face. I was meant to have it cut but never found the time. It doesn't matter any way; they will cut it anyway once they find me, most likely. That's if they ever find me. The wind started to pick up and blew the hair from my face; giving a clear view of my brown, blood shot eyes and tear streaked face in the moonlight that glared down at the earth. Some tears were still running down my cheeks, falling into the river below, washing away into nothingness and leaving no trace. Good, that's what I'm here for anyway, to disappear.

I reach up with a shaken hand and wipe away what I can with the back of my left hand, placing it back to the railing almost as soon as I left it. You may be thinking why I'm here in the first place, why I would be standing over the edge of a bridge, over a river which is a 3 meter drop from where I am now. Well, the answer is very simple; to kill myself. Now you must be thinking things along the lines of "you are an idiot! You are only 17" or "that's not the answer" even "Don't do it Ichigo!" No matter what you think, this is the only way. I think its way past my time anyway, I have all ready died what 3? 4 times all ready? Something like that. But every time it seems like I won't stay dead. Hopefully, this time it works.

Yeah, I know what this means; what effects this will have on the people around me. My 2 dear sisters will have to deal with the fool I call my father without me, my friends will have to take up my shinigami duties. Rukia and Renji will probably come to help out every now and again. I know these things, and I am truly sorry to put these burdens on everyone but what else am I to do? I have nothing left. Nothing.

You know, I wasn't always the sad, depressed person I am now. I used to be a happy, healthy, part time student, part time shinigami. But things changed last winter. During the war that I had lost the on thing that meant everything to me. You see, my friend Orihime was kidnapped by Aizan and his Espada. So naturally, my friends Rukia, Renji, Uryu, Sado and I went to Hueco Mundo to save her. I fought many battles on my travels to save her, but then I was stopped suddenly by the 4th Espada, Ulquiorra when he stabbed me and killed me. Death number 1 in Hueco Mundo.

Anyway, I woke up staring into the eyes of Orihime herself. She was told to heal me by the 6th Espada Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Grimmjow. The one who was the first Espada I ever fought, the one who nearly killed me, the one who stole my heart. Yeah yeah, Mushy girly words there but it's true. You see, there was three reasons why he had told Orihime to heal me; 1) He was told by Aizan to kill me and he didn't really like the idea of fighting me not in top condition. Bastard. 2) He REALLY didn't like how Ulquiorra stole his "kill" and last 3) He couldn't bear to see me dead, as he too loved me in return. Messed up world right? 2 people who are destined to kill each other end up falling in love. So, as soon as I was healed, we started to fight. I remember everything as if it was only yesterday.

_The blood, the clashing of swords, and the glares all added up to make one hell of a fight. We fought with all our might, with all our power right until the end was near. I was about to take the finishing strike, tears falling silently from my eyes when I looked into those light blue eyes, those eyes that never seem to leave my sight. _

"_Do it." Grimmjow panted, slowly standing up right with his arms out wide, making more blood pour on to the white sand. "Just fucking do it! I know you don't want to but you have to fucking man up and do it. If you don't, someone else will and I want to person to kill me to be you, Ichi" He almost spat out, blood already falling from his mouth down his chin._

"_No! I won't! I won't fall to Aizan's level! This is just what he wants!" I scream _

"_Why... why can't you just run and when this is over I can find you" My voice all but a whisper by the end. My hands shaking as I hold up Zangetsu, point the tip towards Grimmjow's chest._

"_You have no choice! JUST FUCKING DO-" Grimmjow yells but gets cut off when a giant axe shaped zanpakuto hits him, right across Grimmjow's chest. Time seemed to slow down, more blood drops hit the white sand around us. I watched as Grimmjow's eyes widen and a mix of emotion flashed across them; pain, sadness, fear. I watched his body hit the ground; the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears. Slowly, ever so slowly, sound returned. I could hear a loud laughter boom across the sand dunes, and a scream. Where was it coming from? It's not Orihime's. No, this is more man like. It took me a second before I realised it was my own scream that filled the area._

I was forced back into the present, to where I stand on the bridge. The recalling of painful memories has now got me sobbing. I reached up once more to wipe the tears away. I return my now wet hand to the railing and take a deep breath. I still can't believe he is dead, but it is how it is. I know it. That is why I am here tonight after all. I guess I need to finish where I left off though; I attacked Nnoitra but it was useless, until the captains arrived, taking most of the Espada out. Everything became a blur after that. I attacked Ulquiorra, getting killed again, coming back to life, killing him, then I ended up returning back to the human world and defeated Aizan. The world still stands, everything returned back to normal and everyone lived happily ever after. The end. Not.

I haven't had a good night sleep in almost 6 months as my dreams are filled with nightmares of Grimmjow dying in front of me; I have skipped class most of the time, even though my marks are still as high as ever. Every night I usually go out in my shinigami form, walking around the quiet town of Karakura, killing a hollow here and there. I feel as if I'm in a dream-like place, feeling like an empty, meaningless shell. I miss him. I miss him every day and night, so much it hurts. All I want to do is wrap my arms around him. But I can't, I never will be able to again. Well, not really. Once I die, I will be with him forever.

The wind has picked up once more; moving around my body, through the jeans and jumper I wear. It feels warm and pleasant, almost like a hug. I take another deep breath and close my eyes. It's now or never Ichigo, all you have to do is jump and everything will be over. All the pain and worries will be washed away. In the darkness beneath my eyes, the air feels like something has changed it all of a sudden, like something has entered it. Whatever, it doesn't matter, nothing does.

"Okay, here I go. 3...2..." I say aloud, ready to let go of the railing, of everything when I hear a voice.

"NO ICHI DON'T!" A deep voice yells from the left side of the bridge. This was not any old deep voice; this voice belonged to only one person and no one else. I opened my eyes and turned my head to the left, hair blowing out of my vision so I can see the form this voice belonged to, the form that should not be there, it was impossible.

He looked just as I remembered; wild blue hair, the white Hakama; the jacket ragged from fights and old age, blowing in the warm wind. His scar that I gave him in our first fight still there but it is accompanied but a new thin white scar going from his right shoulder to his left hip. Last but not least, his blue eyes, wide and filled with emotion just like the last time I saw him only different; Worry, Fear not for himself but for... me was it? Grimmjow stood around 4 metres away from me, yet I could see every little detail on him right to the little green tattoos under his eyes. Wow, my own mind has out done itself with this hallucination.

"Fuck, just disappear like all those other 'Grimmjows' I have made before. I don't have time for dumb mind tricks." I said out loud, closing my eyes again. Where was I? Oh that's right 3...

"Che, why the fuck would you think I'm some mind trick?" the Grimmjow said, sounding like he takes a step forward.

"Don't move. Even if you are fake, I don't want you near me right now. And why wouldn't I think you were? You appear to me every fucking day and night so it's only right for you to show up right now." I point out, looking back in the form's direction. He stops where he is and holds his hands up in front of him in surrender.

"Ichi, I know you might think I'm not real but you can test that by poking me or some shit. Just step back over the railing." This form is truly amazing, I have out done myself. Good on you, here's a pat on the back for you.

"No thanks, I'm fine right here. Now fuck off all ready, I don't want to be here anymore then I have to" More silent tears seem to fall from my eyes. Damn this form is really starting to upset me. Why is it taking so long to disappear?

"Ichi for god's sake I am real! Fuck, I know you really don't believe me but you need to step away from there." The Grimmjow form pleads. Nope, not the real one.

"You aren't real!" I yell starting to get pissed at the form. "You are dead! I saw you die with my own eyes! That's why I am here; to join the real you!" More tears fall into the water below, my hand slips a bit from the railing making my heart stop for a second.

"Ichi! Please don't jump! I'm begging you!" The Grimmjow form moves 2 more steps, too close for my liking. "Ichi, look at me, please look at me." I look towards the form, wondering what shit my mind is going to make it say now.

"Ichi, you know me, I would never beg to anyone because I see them as little, useless things with no meaning. But you are different. I fucking hate Nnoitra for fucking stabbing me; if he was still alive I would kill the bastard in 2 seconds flat! I also fucking hate myself for not seeing you till now, but I was hurt, real bad too. The little green haired monster, Nel, has been looking after me and she and those idiotic Fraccion of hers have kept me under lock and key, not letting me move or transport to get you. Fuck, all I have wanted to do is see you but I couldn't. Nel has been watching you and when she told me where you were tonight and what you were about to do, I came here as fast as I could." The form stopped talking for a second, taking a breath and watching me.

My mind was running a hundred miles an hour, thinking different possibilities. Maybe... Maybe it really is Grimmjow. He looks different to the usual forms I create; his hair is longer and that new scar is something i haven't seen before. The things he is saying and the tone he is using is just like the real one. More tears were flowing down my pale wet face now, and the form takes this sign to move just a few more steps until he is right beside me. He reaches a hand out slowly until it touches my shoulder. Heat races through my body, I look down at the hand now touching me and then back up to his face. The forms have never been able to touch me. Never. It's Grimmjow. It is really Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, the one I thought I lost forever.

"Grimmjow?" I whisper, sobbing even more now. Grimmjow's mouth turns into a full on wide grin, the grin that I have missed so much.

"About fucking time, strawberry. Now come on, climb back over here." He says, almost laughing. Grimmjow grabs my arm with both hands, helping me as my shaken body climbs over the railing. As soon as both my feet touch the flat ground, I throw my arms around Grimmjow's neck and kiss him right on the lips. Not caring if they taste like salt from my tears. Grimmjow gladly wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me close to his chest, deepening the kiss. He is the first to break away so we both can breathe, resting his forehead on mine. He moves his hands to my face and wipes away the new tears that have formed. They aren't tears of pain or sadness but happiness.

"You are fucking crazy, you know that right?" Grimmjow states, laughing. For the first time in months, I smile a real grin and hit him lightly on his arm.

"And you are fucking bastard." I shot back at him, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Ya love me" he grins as he kisses me back.

"Yeah, I do" I whisper over his lips before returning them back where they belong on his own. Nothing can take this moment of happiness away from me right now. Nothing.

**Author's note: **YAY! finished! I hope you enjoyed !


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